If you know me at all, you know that I am a Daddy’s girl. I always have been, I always will be. I live in Florida, 20 hours southeast of the comfortable house I lived in with my Daddy as a kid. Far away from family dinners, crackling fires and the consistent drone of ESPN, Dog the Bounty Hunter, WWF or Roseanne. (oh yeah, we’re real classy.) ;)
I miss my Dad more than words can say. I miss laughing. I miss silence. I miss talking. I miss sitting in the bleachers with him watching my little brother play sports. I miss waking up to freshly cooked breakfasts. I miss waking up to cold breakfasts waiting for me on the stove when I slept hours longer than everyone else. I miss fighting for the shower. I miss the twinkle in his eyes when he’s teasing someone. I miss the safety of being inside of those walls knowing that my Daddy is only steps away.
I remember when I was 10 years old and my parents got divorced. Although relationships within our family were tense and strained, I will never forget the first night in the new house with my mom & my sister. The absence of my Dad was heavy. I don’t remember if I ever mentioned it to anyone, but I distinctly remember clenching that night. I remember lying in bed with worst case scenarios running through my mind. What if someone broke in? What if I got sick? What if I got hurt? What if someone tried to hurt us? Not to take anything away from my mom, as she was more than capable of taking great care of us, but the absence of a steady, strong protector that I had never known a day without broke my heart that day.
Today I was reading this post over at Ragamuffin Soul. As I read through the comments I was reminded that although I had to spend days away from my Dad, I never knew life truly without him. Although there were nights when I felt my security was compromised because my Dad wasn’t snoring in the next room, I never knew a day where he wouldn’t have been wherever I was as quickly as possible if I ever needed him. Although I live 20 hours away from him now, I have never known a day where I couldn’t call or text him without a response. Although I’m 26 years old and have begun my “grown up” life, I’ve never made a major decision that I didn’t run by him. There has been no significant part of my life that he hasn’t been part of.
I was reminded today how important a Daddy is, especially to a girl. It moves my heart and brings tears to my eyes to think about mine. The Lord knew what I needed when he placed me in my family. For every complaint I could make (because trust me, we are far from perfect) I could tell you three things I love about any one of them. But God especially knew what I needed when he gave me my Dad. So as I read these comments my heart breaks for those who don’t have a Dad to miss. For those who don’t know what it’s like to sit in front of the fire at their Dad’s house listening to him laugh at reruns of 90’s sitcoms. For those who didn’t grow up experiencing the joy of Dad’s cooking (grilled burgers or hamburger helper). For those who don’t have a Dad who always, always, always answers the phone. For those who don’t have a Dad to cook them breakfast or build big fires or pay their way into ball games when they forget to go the ATM for cash. For those who don’t have a Dad to stay awake all night long while they drive halfway across the country for their first big move so that he can call them every hour for 20 hours straight. (yup, my Dad did that!) For those who don’t know what it’s like to feel absolutely safe because there is not a single doubt in their mind that their Daddy could beat up any bad guy or fix any problem.
I am so grateful for the blessing of the best Daddy in the world.