sometimes God calls loudly.
sometimes He gently whispers.
most often in my life i have been in awe of the way He works. the way He calls me to something and carefully works out the most intricate of details. and i have gone joyfully. i remember so well that feeling of not being able to sleep for nights before moving into my dorm at SBU, before moving my entire life to Ohio, and again before moving my life to St. Louis. staying awake & being almost giddy with excitement of what God was going to do in my life in each of those places.
and He has been faithful.
i look back on my journey since high school & i see how good He has been. to even attempt to explain all the ways God has grown, stretched, challenged, blessed, & encouraged me at each of those stops along the way would be impossible.
so why now, when God has opened another door do i feel like He is having to drag me kicking & screaming to get me where He wants me?
any of you that have known me in the past few years have probably heard me talk about “moving south”. talking about how much i would love to live in florida on the beach. how my “perfect job” would be doing discipleship with 6th – 12th grade girls. its eerie how i can look back at my life in the past few years and remember so many specific conversations where those exact words have come out of my mouth.
and here i am. having been offered a job. on the beach. in florida. as director of student ministries for 6th – 12th grade girls.
God has given me the desire of my heart, and now that its here I have found myself clinging to familiarity… family… comfort… safety. this is not who i want to be, and the way that im acting is exactly the way i promised myself i would never be. i have this desire to GO and experience new places & people by LIVING there. i love student ministry & the beach .. and lets face it… combining the 2 would be incredible.
no doubt that God has called me to trust him with my safety… to replace comfort with commitment to going wherever He calls…. to love Him more than i love my family…. to be familiar only with His voice.
i will most likely be moving to florida the first week of July. living a 5 minute drive from the water. serving in a great church, among great people who have already found a special place in my heart. this is an amazing opportunity, and i truly am thankful that God has heard & given me the desires of my heart.
but if you’ve read this far, i would appreciate your prayers. this truly is one of the hardest things ive done in my short 24 years. losing my grandpa has made me treasure my family so much more. its incredibly hard to swallow the idea of leaving them & moving so far away. missing important things in my sweet little nephews lives. please pray that God would continue to work out all the details… that an affordable & nice apartment would be available. and most importantly, that God would continue to teach my heart to trust Him more than anything or anyone else.