Dear Kayson,
I’m late writing your birthday post this year. I could give you lots of excuses, but instead I’ll just tell you the real reason. Every time I sit down to write to you, my mind wanders to your future, and it scares the hell out of me. Truth be told, if I could have kept you 4 years old forever, I probably would have. The older you get, the less the grown ups who love you can control whether you are safe & healthy & innocent. It’s hard to trust the Lord with you, but I know it is good.
This year I can’t help but wonder who you’ll be in the coming years that I know will fly by as quickly (if not more so) than the past seven. I wonder if you’ll grow up to be a professional football player like you always say you will. Then I wonder if you’ll get to high school and decide that maybe playing tuba in the band is a better fit for you. Or maybe you’ll love reading and writing and write your first novel in junior high. You have changed so much, so quickly thus far in your life that nothing would surprise me. I hope you know that whether you are the best football player ever or the squeakiest tuba in the marching band, you have an Aunt who could not be more proud of who you are.
I wonder if you’ll be safe. I wonder if you’ll break a bone or get a concussion playing football. I wonder if you’ll always wear your seat belt when you start driving. (you better, or else..) I wonder if you’ll go through a rebellious phase and if you’ll let your Aunt love you through it when you do. I hope you know that even if you do things I wish you wouldn’t or make mistakes you’ll wish you could take back, I will always be here to remind you to keep going. That it’s never to late to push through and start over. I hope you’ll trust me with the good things, but especially with the ugly things. I hope you’ll know you have someone who isn’t Mom & Dad who will love you unconditionally and remind you how adorable and sweet and smart and talented and adored you are, no matter where life takes you. I hope you’ll treat girls with respect and be the kind of loyal, honest friend everyone wants to have. I hope you keep being the very best big brother. Trust me, Aunt Bran wouldn’t be who she is if not for your Mommy. Big siblings make a big difference, and you’re off to a great start!
I hope you take risks and succeed, but when you take risks and fail I hope it doesn’t scare you out of trying again. I hope you learn to be grateful for each breath, for each new day & the opportunities it brings. I hope your life is as messy as it is beautiful, and someday I hope you realize that the mess really is the beauty.
Most of all, sweet boy, I hope you really, truly love Jesus. I pray this over your precious life every single day and I believe with my whole heart that He has great plans for you.
You make me so proud, Kayson William. Being your Aunt is the best gift I have ever received. Thank you for seven of the best years ever.
Love you to the moon & back,
Aunt Bran
